It’s been a tough week. Watching someone you love pass away is NOT for the faint at heart. My mom remembered something my great aunt said a million years ago … “Dying can take a long time” … and yes, yes it can. Our bodies were made to LIVE, not die. And yet…that moment will come for each and every one of us. I watched it come for my father early yesterday morning. He was a fighter all the way up to the end. He’d already been handed several blows…throat cancer that stole his voice and then dementia that stole his mind…and yet, I NEVER heard my father complain. He got back up every time he got knocked down and carried on with everything in him.

My father was ONE OF ONE. I heard that term when Dolly passed last week, and it’s as applicable to Gordon Ragsdale as it was her. He walked to the beat of his own drum. He was a character. Drove us all crazy sometimes….but our lives would have been boring without him:). He was the life of the party, the last to leave, the one who wanted to go to every event and the one who showed up at every funeral. He was a good, good friend to so many of the men in his town…young and old. He was a dreamer, an entrepreneur, a business owner, a “ford man”… he loved anything to do with boats and water…deep sea fishing with his friends was his fave.

I have so many thoughts from the past week on death and dying and life and living. In the midst of the hard, my mom and sister and I had a beautiful week of being together…just the original four, all tucked under one roof. Staying up all night, laughing, crying, sharing stories, going through pictures, impersonating my daddy, visiting with dear friends who would stop by. God has a way to always bring the beautiful out of the very, very painful.

Thank you all so much for your thoughts and prayers and kind messages and comments already. My family felt them and my daddy would have been touched by them.

Well..DG RAGSDALE…go fish with Jesus, I’ve heard he’s good at that. Go hang out late night with all your friends that have gone before you. Go spend time with Grandmother and Papa … I know seeing them right away made up for all you’ve been through. Go talk as much as you want and use that brilliant mind once again. Go rest. You deserve it.

xox.eb

Today is my parents 60th wedding anniversary. I’m waking up in my childhood bedroom…I’ve been here all week and will be here until…

I’ve watched my mother over the last 6 years in awe and wonder as she’s taken care of my father and this evil dementia. I’ve watched them this week and I’ve had so many moments where I think: “Now THIS, this is the picture of for better or worse, in sickness and in health, til death do us part. THIS is where the rubber meets the road.”

People don’t stand by commitment like that anymore. When times get hard…and they WILL…many can’t make it through. But this generation was tougher…they saw their parents stick together thru thick and thin and they chose to do the same.

And this morning, as I watch the results of that dedication and fortitude and a love that grows old and deep over time…. I think it’s one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen.

Hard. But beautiful. As most things worth fighting for are.

xox.eb

I was pulling into the Marshall’s parking lot when I got a text from my mama:

I just sat there.

You don’t get news about a national treasure like Dolly Parton and then carry on about your day. You sit in it. You remember. You grab the memories in your mind.

And then, last night, we had a friend over for dinner. Of COURSE we talked about Dolly. Her music…some. Her movies…maybe. I mean…who could ever forget her role in Steel Magnolias?!? “Just paint my door red and call me Elizabeth Arden!”

But the main thing we talked about was how Dolly lived her life and was as a person. I’ve never heard anyone say a single unkind word about Dolly Parton. Quite the opposite. Everyone adores her. Praises her. Quotes her. Cries about her. Everyone says how kind she is. How generous. How funny. How smart. How genuine.

My thoughts then went to how she handled her faith. No one questioned whether or not Dolly Parton loved Jesus. They didn’t wonder if she was a woman who believed. They KNEW. And yet…she didn’t act religious. Ever. She was never judgmental. She never condemned.

I love this quote from her:

Never use religion to judge others, because if you love God, you must know that He loves all of us without exception. - Dolly Parton

And how about this one:

I don’t have to march in the streets. I just try to live it and be it. - Dolly Parton

I think that’s my favorite thing about her. And, I’d be willing to bet that’s what she will be remembered for…her love and her kindness. Her ability to be in the world and make it a better place without judging it and those in it.

Oh, those songs we will be a playin’ … you can count on that. But that LOVE…that’s the stuff we’re going to be thinking about for years to come.

Just goes to show that at the end of the day…it’s not about your talents (they’re great) or what you can DO (I mean…do good things:) but about your character, who you truly are and how you make others feel. That’s what remains.

Be like Dolly.

xox.eb

Lots of life has been happening for us lately. LOTS. Mostly all great things…but also some hard things. I was thinking last night about how, when I find myself PREOCCUPIED…and I allow those things to OCCUPY my thoughts instead of taking them captive and getting in the word…I have NOTHING to write to you…nothing much to say that feels of value, anyway.

PREOCCUPIED: previously occupied. Taken. Filled.

Previously occupied. Yikes. Can anyone else relate to that?

I know life can hit hard. I also know that when I’m consistent with my morning routine, my day goes better.

I don’t want to be found preoccupied with the things of this world. I want to be occupied with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness. And we know that doesn’t happen by chance or by hoping, but by abiding.

Preoccupied or occupied. We get to choose.

xox.eb

We went chasing sunsets last night.

Now y’all know I LOVE my mountain sunsets. I mean…LOVE them. Last night, however, I realized that while the season is changing for us…and there are so many things we will miss…the new season ahead holds equal amounts of beauty…just different.

Instead of mountains and hardwoods and hills…our new view will have pine trees and fields and sight lines that go further.

I looked at Keith and said “I think we’re going to be okay here.” :)

And guess what. You will be, too.

If your scenery is shifting and your current season is ending…be grateful for what was while simultaneously expectant for what lies ahead.

It’s going to look different, but it’s supposed to.

xox.eb

Happy Monday! Hope you all had a great weekend! We had the fam home … which is my fave…and celebrated Johnie’s birthday. Keith and I talked about how wonderful it is when you LOVE being with your adult children.

It’s such a fun stage when you go from having to “parent” to simply being with them and being their friend. I’m sure it just gets better and better as the years go on as well.

Anyway. That wasn’t my thought. Although, my thought does go to generational stuff.

In Judges 2, it talks about the generation “who had seen all of the great things the Lord had done” and how “after that generation had died, another generation grew up who did not acknowledge the Lord or remember the mighty things he had done.”

They abandoned God and “went after other gods, worshipping the gods of the people around them.”

Hmmm.

Ya know…we were the generation without social media, without cell phones, without so much that’s swirling around that this generation has to deal with. It would be easy for them to not know God and to worship other gods like others around them (idolatry of people, the god of self, self promotion, selfish ambition, self, self, self…).

That is why sharing stories (testimonies) is so important. Writing it down is so important. Remembering what God has done in our lives and talking about it is so important. You don’t have to preach at them or force something on them…simply WALK with the Lord in YOUR life. They will see it. They will notice.

Also…if you have loved ones in the older generation around you…talk to them about all the things the Lord has done in THEIR lives. Ask them to share stories. Listen intently. I love having my grandmother’s old books with squiggly underlines in them and notes written in margins. That’s one reason I write in and mark up my Bibles like crazy….with hopes that one day, after I’m long gone, my children will pick them up and read some of what I wrote in the margins.

Anyway. Keep telling the stories. Keep remembering.

xox.eb

Mornin’ sunshine’s! Happy Friday!

Well, I’ve exited Joshua and am entering Judges in my “Bible read through in a year.”

I’m clearly not going to get through in one year.

Hey…I’m a slow reader. A studier. A word looker upper kind of girl…I like to hang out in one place for a while. I guess I guess I’ll get through when I get through:).

Anyway. The heading that jumped out at me this morning is from Judges 2:16-23:

“The Lord RESCUED His People”

It goes on to say that He rescued the people who were “burdened by oppression and suffering.”

Some of you who’ve followed my journey may remember this, but in 2008, after being dramatically snatched out of my world as I knew it…I began to complain a bit to the Lord. I’d say things like “Lord! What in the world!?! I was one way a few weeks ago…doing life and work and all the things…and now, everything’s changed. I feel like I’ve been kidnapped!”

Over and over again I’d cry out…trying to understand how it all happened.

One day, as I sat in the backyard of our tiny rental apartment (we’d been snatched out of our dream home as well) with airplane traffic overhead, cars going by and trains off in the distance (we’d left a quiet farm) I began again.

But this time, He answered me.

“You have it all wrong. You’ve not been kidnapped, you’ve been RESCUED.”

He showed me the image of a burning building…each floor collapsing on top of the next one, and us being pulled out just in time.

That building, I believe, represented “our world” and allll that we were building in our own strength and by our own hands. Our own kingdom, if you will. Oh…all while loving God and going to church and teaching Bible studies and doing all the things.

But there was a divide somewhere.

At least, for me.

I was IN the world and OF the world.

Love God. Perform. Perform. Perform. Bust a move. Bust a move. Bust a move. Build. Build. Build. Be the best. Be the best. Be the best. Teach a Bible study. Bust a move again.:) Rinse. Repeat.

Shew…it exhausts me now even writing that sentence.

Talk about oppression and suffering.

When we somehow believe that our whole world is dependent on US keeping it all going…that is high level oppression.

Oppression: the feeling of being heavily burdened, mentally, physically, by troubles, adverse conditions, or anxiety.

The whole “doing it all in my own strength” had actually begun to take a toll on my physical health as well.

It took quite a while..heck, I still have to battle it sometimes all these years later…that beast of burden of performance and making stuff happen and being in control of it all and thinking it’s up to me and taking things into my own hands.

But then…I remember.

He rescued me.

He never wants me to go back.

He never intended for us to take on the oppression of this world and all of its demands and expectations and requirements.

He never wanted us to carry the burdens on our shoulders.

He never wanted us to be OF this world.

He rescues us into a different reality. But, just like with kidnapping victims, it can take time to acclimate back. Our true identity has to be held up to us over and over again. We have to RE-member who we were and who he made us to be before the world creeped in and tried to steal it all away.

If you’re still on the hamster wheel of performance and over achieving and over doing and over stressing and over thinking and believing that it all falls on your shoulders…my prayer for you today is that you, too, get RESCUED out of that burning building and brought back into the reality that you’re a daughter, a son, a watched over, cared for, VERY loved and cherished person.

We were never made to do it on our own.

xox.eb

John the Baptist wore clothing made from camel’s hair...ate dried locusts and wild honey for his staple food...and hung out in the desert yelling stuff.

In every sense of the word, we’d call him a fruit loop today. We might even say he was “demonized” or coo coo.

And yet.

What he was yelling in the desert was TRUTH.

“A thunderous voice crying out in the wilderness to prepare yourself and to level a straight path inside your HEART for Him.” (TPT)

Maybe we shouldn’t discount a voice just because it doesn’t come from mainstream. Actually, that’s probably the main reason we should listen to it.

Just a thought.

xox.eb

Saturday night, Keith and I stumbled upon a country road near our land that was just acres and acres and acres (for miles) of undisturbed pine trees. It was GORGEOUS. I felt like I was in a fairy land. No people. No houses. No other cars…just us and millions of pine trees.

It WILL become a new fave Sunday drive:)

I said to Keith… “it feels soooo spiritual in here. I know that sounds crazy. But it does.”

Then, I opened up the book of Joshua and read this.

As a reminder of their agreement, he took a huge stone and rolled it beneath the terebinth tree. He said to the people, “This stone has heard everything the Lord said to us. It will be a witness to testify against you if you go back on your word to God.” -Joshua 24:27

Amazing. I mean…we know even the rocks cry out… but it just underscored what I was sensing in those woods.

God made nature. God loves nature. Nature holds more than we can think or imagine.

Let’s get off our phones and get into the woods. Let’s listen to the trees and the stones and the dirt whisper to us what they’ve heard. It might just heal us.

xox.eb

Happy Monday! We’re back home from a very productive weekend on the land. Our little RV SPOT is taking shape!

I was reading in Joshua 22 how one of the tribes…after being rescued out of slavery and then allotted and given land…decided to “stop and build a large and imposing altar.” The people around them asked…”how could you turn away from the Lord and build an altar for yourself in rebellion against him!?”

When I read that…my first thought is how easy it can be to do. You know…trust and follow the Lord up to a certain point but then…take matters into your own hands and build something in “the new” out of your own strength.

I’ve had to watch out for this myself.

God’s clearly doing a NEW THING in our lives…requiring a new level of trust and reliance on Him…and there are moments where I can start to “take things into my own hands” and build something I’ve thought up or that I think might be a good idea during this season.

Yeah. I’m not at the stage of life where I want to build anything in my own strength or because it’s a “good idea.” I want to walk forward daily, with the Lord, and see what HE has for us in this next season…not what we can drum up or add to or build with our own hands.

I have such a sense that we will DISCOVER what’s next..not CONJURE UP what’s next. You know…build an altar in our own strength kind of thing.

If you’re walking into the new…be careful and resist building from the old. Let the Lord reveal it all in His time. Let the new story unfold. Don’t grab things with your own two hands and make things happen just to give yourself a false sense of security.

Fully trusting means FULLY trusting.

xox.eb

“So fear the Lord and serve Him WHOLE-HEARTEDLY.” - Joshua 24:14

Yearssss ago, the Lord whispered to me:

“I want you whole-hearted.”

It was probably in the middle of me asking Him what He wanted me to DO.

Doing is much easier than being.

Oh…give me a task and I’ll do it and do it well and check it off the list. But just sit and be and heal and receive?! A little more difficult.

WHOLE: containing ALL the elements properly belonging; complete.

Shew. That’s a doozie.

ALL means all.

That means, in order to be whole-hearted, we have to discover AND recover pieces and parts we have given away, parts that were wounded and hurt, parts that have anger or bitterness in them, parts that are simply lost.

But guess what!?! He would not tell us to be whole-hearted…knowing all the things that have taken place in our lives to try and keep us from just that…unless 100% recovery was FULLY possible.

Just start with what he shows you and trust HIS process.

He is the way. Whole is possible.

xox.eb

8/8 … a marked day for us on this journey called life. We were living the dream. Close to family. Settled in our community. Had remodeled a little horse farm and thought we’d live there forever.

Then God disrupted ALL our plans.

A three day encounter changed everything.

It was 2008. The middle of a real estate slump and recession. And yet…God said list the house.

“Hey God. We can’t move. We’re in the middle of a recession. Houses aren’t selling. This price range isn’t moving.”

God: “List the house. List it for $888,000.”

And so. We did.

And TWO WEEKS later, on 8/8/8, we got an offer for $888,000.

It rocked our world.

We were off on the next adventure. Leaving EVERYTHING and EVERYONE we loved. Exciting? Yes. Uncomfortable? For sure.

I sat behind one of those pine trees the day the movers came and bawled my eyes out. I mean…BAWLED. And questioned. Are you sure, God?!? Did I really hear you, God?!?

And guess what?! I may bawl my eyes out again. But if there’s one thing this experience taught us 18 years ago, it’s to go if he says go…to stay if he says stay.

His ways are higher. Better. Sure.

Our little farm that we sold was named “Runaway Farm”. When I drove by it a few years after we moved, I was shocked to see that the new owners had named it “Flying E.” It felt like a wink from Him to me.

Let’s keep flying. And trusting. And relying on the One who sees the whole picture. Life is certainly an adventure with God and not boring for sure.

Oh! And P.S. … the place we are now headed is BACK to this place that we left in 2008. Maybe we went from Runaway to Flying to Full Circle. :)

Trust God. Go when he says go.

xox.eb

“Now, as you can see, the Lord has kept me alive and well AS HE PROMISED, even while Israel wandered in the wilderness.” -Joshua 14:10

Even while Israel wandered!

Wander in the Hebrew and Greek means a restless moving about or going astray.

Our wanderings do not scare Him away.

Our wanderings do NOT negate or change HIS promises.

We may not be steady all the time. He IS steady all the time.

People may break their promises to you. He NEVER will.

xox.eb

I’m hanging out in Joshua now. Thought this was interesting. I’m in chapter 9. The Gibeonites had a plan to deceive the Israelites. They set the stage to make things LOOK a certain way….a way completely opposite from truth. They dressed the part, played the part, had props to underscore the plot…it was like a well rehearsed play. Here’s the key verse:

So the Israelites examined their food (which seemed to underscore the narrative they were telling), BUT they DID NOT consult the Lord. -Joshua 9:14

There it is.

Funny that this chapter is right after the chapter that takes place in a town called Ai.

Anyway. Just because something “looks” a certain way. Just because it’s been plotted and planned and things have been orchestrated in the background to make it APPEAR a certain way…does not make it so. We’re not supposed to just buy it hook, line and sinker. We’re supposed to use our DISCERNMENT and CONSULT with the Lord about it. Because working hard to make something look a certain way is not a new thing, it’s an ancient thing.

Use wisdom. Ask questions. Dig deeper. Consult the Lord.

xox.eb

I’m MORNING THOUGHTS ☕️: sitting on the porch having my coffee when the power company and Asplundh drive up. I ask them what they’re doing.

“We’re marking trees that we need to cut back this afternoon so they don’t interfere with the power lines.”

Interesting.

Have you ever felt pruned? Like something was cut away that you really loved or wanted to hold on to?

We know God prunes. John 15 says that every branch that doesn’t produce fruit gets taken away and every branch that does produce fruit gets pruned so it can produce more.

This morning was a great reminder for me as we are in a pruning season….that sometimes, branches need to be removed or cut back so they don’t interfere with the “power line.”

What may feel painful for a moment has purpose for the long haul.

xox.eb

Porch sittin’ while I can today…before it gets too hot. I’m in Deuteronomy 30. As I’m reading the section on “The CHOICE of Life or Death”, I can’t help but think that these are some of the most KEY verses in the Bible. Pivotal verses. A crossroad.

It’s staying it’s a CHOICE and WE get to choose. It’s not a secret locked up in heaven that we can’t figure out. It’s not so distant that we can’t decipher it. Nope. It’s a super close one…on OUR lips and in OUR hearts, actually.

WE are the ones who choose life or death, blessings or curses. There should be no “oh why oh why is this happening to me!?” kind of stuff.

He says it. Over and over.

I’m giving you a CHOICE (the right, power, or opportunity to choose).

BUT.

“If your heart turns away and you refuse to listen, and if you are drawn away to serve and worship other gods….then I am warning you!”

I mean…can’t say we weren’t warned. Can’t say we don’t know that if we choose to not listen, if we choose to go our own way, if we choose to worship this world, worship our possessions, worship our careers, worship our success, worship ourselves…that we don’t know where it will lead.

There are a little of little gods vying for our attention…trying to get our eyes off the REAL God and trying to get us to choose our own way.

Don’t take the bait.

And then I kept reading and Deut 30:20 just underscored it all:

“THIS is the key to your life.”

Pretty bold stuff. Like highlight it and underline it stuff. Like really get it stuff. I think I’ll go read it all again.

xox.eb

This morning, I was looking at this plant I just bought for the porch…and I started laughing. It’s called an IMPATIENT.

I, for sure, can be impatient.

Recently, I was feeling that way around a certain thing. I had to catch myself and STOP and get back into remembering that I have nothing, ZERO, no reason to be impatient. Impatient means I’m not trusting God’s timing. Impatient can move us into trying to make things happen in OUR timing. Impatient can make us forfeit God’s best for what we think is the best. Impatient can make us miss God’s hand in our lives because we take everything into our own.

And guess what? We don’t become less impatient by trying to be more patient. That’s still a flesh thing. We become more patient by abiding in the spirit. Patience is a fruit of the SPIRIT. When I stop looking with natural eyes, wanting everything in MY timing, and I get back in my spirit and remember that God’s timing is what I really want…I can take a deep breath and release the impatience and get back to the peace of patience and trusting and knowing He’s got it.

Now, I’m even more glad I got this plant to remind me to NOT be impatient:)

xox.eb

I sure hope our nephew doesn’t mind me using this picture…it’s one of my faves. And, this morning when I read a line in Deuteronomy…it felt super appropriate.

Here’s the line:

“Get up and resume the journey.” - Deuteronomy 10:11

Yeah. Preaching that one to myself.

I remember trying to learn to ski when I was little. I think I drank more water than was safe…and each time, when I couldn’t get up, I felt a little more defeated. And each time, my father would circle that boat around and say “you’ve almost got it…go again.”

I never wanted to. I wanted to hop back in the boat, get a dry towel, curl up in a seat and just ride.

Perhaps you, like me, have felt knocked down this past season. You’ve gulped down too much water, tried to get up too many times, felt super defeated and wanted to quit…only to hear the Father say “you’ve almost got it…go again.”

And guess what?! We have a whole cloud of witnesses cheering us on. They gulped water and got knocked down, too.

So let’s put on those skies (gospel of peace), cinch up that life vest (armor), grab hold of that rope (hope) and hang on.

It’s time to get up and resume the journey.

xox.eb

Keith and I watched Eddie Murphy’s documentary on Netflix last week called “being Eddie”. One of the things he said I wanted to share with you.

He said that he operates like a sail boat, not a row boat.

In a row boat, you’re operating in your own strength. You’re sweating. You’re striving. You’re struggling to keep going.

In a sail boat, you’re looking for the W I N D and letting it move you gently and peacefully along.

It’s the most perfect visual of what it looks and feels like to live from striving (self) versus living from a posture of peace and rest (spirit).

And since I’m still in Deuteronomy, I’ll share the scripture that sums the same thing up perfectly.

It’s found in Deuteronomy 11.

The land they are about to enter is a land flowing with milk and honey…a land that God’s eyes are on 24/7 and where rain is plentiful (sailboat). It’s compared to the land they came from (Egypt) where they planted by hand, watered and tendered it themselves, and had to do it all on their own (rowboat).

And. It’s no mystery how to leave one and enter the other.

Obedience.

Obedience yields rest. It’s the key that will have you and me sitting on that sailboat unconcerned which way the wind is going to blow..just knowing we have to catch it and get into ITS flow in order to go.

Sail on.

xox.eb

A friend messaged me yesterday to share about her transition. Man…a ton of y’all are going through one as well. Anyway, I wrote back and one of the things I said stopped me.

I was talking about how I don’t even like to CHANGE up my order at my favorite restaurant anymore, much less my whole world…then I wrote “it’s shaking me up inside.”

That’s what stopped me in my tracks. There it was.

There’s a scripture in Hebrews that says that everything that CAN be shaken WILL be shaken. It goes on to say that only UNSHAKABLE THINGS will remain.

Worldly securities can be shaken. Material things can be shaken. Identities can be shaken. Routines can be shaken. Beliefs can be shaken. Temporal things can be shaken.

The shaking I’m feeling is tied to things that can shake. It’s not tied to things that cannot be shaken like God, faith, truth, eternal things.

And so, as I sat there and got my eyes off of the temporal and back on the eternal…I breathed a deep breath and released it and felt better. That sounds hyper spiritual, I know. I don’t mean for it to sound that way…but it helped. I looked around and realized that what we’ve created here, as beautiful as it is, is temporary. It’s material. It’s security, it’s my comfort zone. But it’s NOT an unshakable thing. When I put my focus back on the unshakable I was like “ohhhhhh okay…right…people, family, purpose, being willing to flow and go with no agenda and no clinging onto worldly things…that’s where I won’t shake.”

I mean, don’t get me wrong, I LOVE this worldly thing called White Buck Farm 😂😂 but it ain’t going with me…it doesn’t define me…and it’s not my security.

Shaking or unshakable?

It totally depends on what we’re clinging to.

xox.eb