Keith and I watched an episode of Seinfeld last night. Old shows are the BEST shows.

It was the one where Kramer found a whole drawer full of checks Jerry’s Nana had given him as gifts over the years. Jerry had never cashed them…just tucked them away in a drawer for safe keeping.

Kramer said to him: “Jerry! Your grandmother gave you these and she wants you to use them. Not doing so is a tantamount slap in the face! A gift not enjoyed is like a flower that doesn’t blossom.”

That really spoke to me. Made me wonder.

How many of us have been given GIFTS from the Lord that, for whatever reason, we have tucked away in a drawer and haven’t cashed and aren’t enjoying.

And when we don’t cash the checks on the gifts that God has given us…not only do WE miss out, but so do many others. God’s gifts aren’t just for us…they are for the body.

Cash the checks.

xox.eb

I’m reading in the Book of 1 Samuel this morning. God has told Samuel, the prophet, that the man he just met (Saul) was “the man I told you about who will rule my people.”

Note to self on that one is that God can whisper in people’s ears about who you are well before you arrive.

Anyway…Saul had no idea what was awaiting him … he was just out looking for the donkeys that had gotten loose and run off.

When Samuel finally tells Saul who GOD says he is…Saul responds in disbelief…huh!?? Me?!? But I’m ONLY from _____ and my family is the least important of all families there…why are you saying stuff like this!?

Saul’s past was already bubbling up to cause him pause in believing what GOD had said about him and what he had in store for him.

But this was the line that really stood out to me…

Samuel was bringing out all the tribes and all the families to announce and introduce Saul as the one God had chosen to be their leader…but they couldn’t find him. When they asked the Lord where he was this was the reply:

“He is hiding among the baggage.”

There it is.

God had anointed him. Samuel had recognized him and prophesied over him as the one GOD had chosen…and yet, Saul was hiding among the baggage.

I wonder how many of us are hiding among the baggage…you know … the stuff you’re still carrying around that’s not really yours to carry. The beliefs, the wounds, the trauma, the feeling that you’re not enough or that God must have been mistaken when he chose you for the task.

Saul felt it, too.

But feelings don’t erase what God has said about you. The baggage you’re hiding amongst is really of no consequence because God already knows it all and still he chose you.

When they finally found Saul in his hiding place, they brought him out and he stood “head and shoulders above anyone else.”

Just makes me wonder what’s waiting for so many when they come out of hiding and shake off that baggage they’ve been carrying.

xox.eb

I’m sooo glad to be at the last line in the Book of Judges. This book almost did me in:). The Israelites always “doing evil in the sight of the Lord”…and by evil, I mean killing and destroying entire towns and people groups, killing and sacrificing their very own daughter (Jephthah…really!?!), gang rapes…on and on it goes. It is NOT for the faint at heart.

The final verse says this:

“In those days, Israel had no king; all the people did whatever seemed right in their own eyes.”

Boy oh boy are we seeing this happen in real time.

A TRUE leadership void will always breed chaos.

Leadership does not look like bullying. It does not look like controlling. It does not look like manipulating. It does not look like seeking your own self interest and then spinning stories to try and make it look like something else.

People know a true leader a mile away. Simply being in a “leadership position” does NOT make someone a leader. A TRUE leader can be sensed. They are in that position because they’ve earned it, not been handed it. They care…deeply. They are humble. Servant hearted. They put others first. They say the hard things, but in a way that conveys “we’re all in this together…we will make it through.”

Yup. Lack of TRUE leadership breeds chaos. Turn on the news (or don’t to keep your peace:). We’re watching this one play out in real time.

xox.eb

Y’all. We gotta talk about this tree we took down yesterday. I didn’t want to take it down but it was sooo close to our structure and the inside was hollow. So down it went.

But NOT easily.

What we thought would be quick ended up being an all day affair. The root system was sooooo big and soooo deep that it took digging all around it and then two pieces of heavy equipment to chip away at it and finally get it up and out.

As I watched them work to dismantle the root system, I thought…now THIS, this is a picture of what having deep roots looks like. When we spend a lot of time with the Lord and know His word and His voice and His ways…and we have allowed our roots to go deep, we are NOT easily moved. We are ANCHORED IN. We aren’t tossed to and fro by every little thing that life throws at us.

Deep and wide and anchored and hard to move.

Let’s be like that tree.

xox.eb

Heading out early this morning to go down to the land so not much time to write. Gotta pack that car!:) But here’s a short thought for you.

God is drawn to our weakness, our brokenness, and our surrender. When we FINALLY decide to let go, He steps in. When we finally choose to give up the fight, He rescues us. When we are weak, HE is strong. If we want to experience HIS strength...we have to stop trying so hard to operate in ours. Our weakness is actually the pathway to His power.

Today, try not to push in your own power and instead, rest in His.

Love you. Have a great Thursday!

xox.eb

MORNING THOUGHTS ☕️: I sat down this morning with my coffee and journal and just decided to kind of write without thinking. This is what I wrote:

God is doing a new thing.

Let it come forth.

Don’t rush it. Force it.

Simply wait on it.

Those who wait on the Lord…

Don’t be tempted to pick up the old.

Leave it.

God knows where it is.

He can pick it up and show you if it’s needed.

Be childlike again.

Expectant.

Excited.

Dependent.

Wait on the Lord.

He’s doing a new thing.

Kind of goes with my post from Monday about not grabbing onto the familiar when you’re entering unfamiliar territory…or something to that effect:).

Now. To rest and trust and follow and wait.

xox.eb

I read this statement yesterday as I was scrolling along:

I hope you don’t long for things just because they’re familiar.

Funny. Just the night before I’d said to Keith that sometimes I find myself longing for things my 40 year old self did or was part of. And in those moments, I feel 40 inside. But then, when I get really honest, my 58 year old self realizes that I probably don’t actually want to do the 40 year old self stuff…I’m just in a mid life musing and sometimes I feel a little lost not “doing” like I always did.

This decade is a funny one. We’re not our younger, vibrant, ready to tackle the world self and yet we are also not the old, ready to sit in a recliner and reminisce about the past self.

It’s a weird and wonderful time and I’ve not gone this way before.

The weird: empty nesting, losing or caring for parents, not climbing some ladder or spending the majority of your day building up a career, doing less, caring less about what anyone thinks, days that unfold instead of being dictated or directed by others.

The wonderful: empty nesting, more time with parents once again, not climbing some ladder or spending the majority of your day building up a career, doing less, caring less about what anyone thinks, days that can unfold instead of being dictated or directed by others.

That’s funny.

Weird and wonderful. Both and. A definitive shift for sure. A choice to grab back at what was familiar or move forward into the new.

I’m choosing wonderful and new. How about you!?

xox.eb

Yesterday afternoon, Keith and I were in the car and out of nowhere I said “I feel like my life has gone quiet.” To which he looked at me in disbelief. I mean….our lives have been anything but quiet.

In the past two weeks alone, we’ve had my dad, my aunt, both of our cars break down, our gator broke down, our phones messed up, our goats got in rat poison, I had to go to the emergency room…again…and we have a tough family situation going on as well. Sharing that to show that it’s clearly NOT smooth sailing for us right now. Sometimes, it feels like all hell has broken loose.

BUT.

Yesterday I felt quiet. Which makes no sense in the natural. NONE. I told Keith I feel like I’m in the same bubble of peace I was in when I got diagnosed with kidney cancer. Not a fun diagnosis…but it stayed outside of my bubble and never made me fearful or worried…I sailed through it.

I think this is what the peace that surpasses all understanding looks and feels like. I think that when our spirits are strong…a ton of stuff can come at us and hit our physical bodies, our minds, our emotions…but if we are led by the Spirit of God and our spirit is strong…the bubble of peace becomes like a shield around us.

I, for one, don’t know how people get through this world without knowing the One who created it and holds it in His hands. Not a cute scripture to put on the fridge…but real deal being carried by the Prince of Peace.

xox.eb

My great aunt Faedene, whom I adored, passed away on Monday morning…almost a week to the day my daddy did. She loved my daddy. He loved her. She was 96.

I’ve written about her several times over the years. Every time I’d get off of the phone with her I’d swear I’d been to church. She’s the one who TRULY introduced me to the Holy Spirit. She’s the one who declared wholeness and healing over my body anytime I was in a health battle (which was often). She’s the one who began talking to me about “man’s religion” versus the TRUTH of who we are in Jesus and what that looks like to walk it out here on earth. Faedene KNEW. And she knew to the core of her being.

She was a treasure. She packed a whole lotta punch. She believed more in where she is now than almost anyone I know…except maybe my grandmother. I wish I could have been there the moment she saw Jesus face to face.

I love picturing these two walking around, checking things out, holding hands and just being in awe of where they are…a place with no sickness, no dementia, no physical restraints from their bodies, no hardness of hearing, no pain, no suffering.

I’ll miss them both terribly…but I’m forever grateful for their lives and the deposits they made in mine.

xox.eb

It’s been a tough week. Watching someone you love pass away is NOT for the faint at heart. My mom remembered something my great aunt said a million years ago … “Dying can take a long time” … and yes, yes it can. Our bodies were made to LIVE, not die. And yet…that moment will come for each and every one of us. I watched it come for my father early yesterday morning. He was a fighter all the way up to the end. He’d already been handed several blows…throat cancer that stole his voice and then dementia that stole his mind…and yet, I NEVER heard my father complain. He got back up every time he got knocked down and carried on with everything in him.

My father was ONE OF ONE. I heard that term when Dolly passed last week, and it’s as applicable to Gordon Ragsdale as it was her. He walked to the beat of his own drum. He was a character. Drove us all crazy sometimes….but our lives would have been boring without him:). He was the life of the party, the last to leave, the one who wanted to go to every event and the one who showed up at every funeral. He was a good, good friend to so many of the men in his town…young and old. He was a dreamer, an entrepreneur, a business owner, a “ford man”… he loved anything to do with boats and water…deep sea fishing with his friends was his fave.

I have so many thoughts from the past week on death and dying and life and living. In the midst of the hard, my mom and sister and I had a beautiful week of being together…just the original four, all tucked under one roof. Staying up all night, laughing, crying, sharing stories, going through pictures, impersonating my daddy, visiting with dear friends who would stop by. God has a way to always bring the beautiful out of the very, very painful.

Thank you all so much for your thoughts and prayers and kind messages and comments already. My family felt them and my daddy would have been touched by them.

Well..DG RAGSDALE…go fish with Jesus, I’ve heard he’s good at that. Go hang out late night with all your friends that have gone before you. Go spend time with Grandmother and Papa … I know seeing them right away made up for all you’ve been through. Go talk as much as you want and use that brilliant mind once again. Go rest. You deserve it.

xox.eb

Today is my parents 60th wedding anniversary. I’m waking up in my childhood bedroom…I’ve been here all week and will be here until…

I’ve watched my mother over the last 6 years in awe and wonder as she’s taken care of my father and this evil dementia. I’ve watched them this week and I’ve had so many moments where I think: “Now THIS, this is the picture of for better or worse, in sickness and in health, til death do us part. THIS is where the rubber meets the road.”

People don’t stand by commitment like that anymore. When times get hard…and they WILL…many can’t make it through. But this generation was tougher…they saw their parents stick together thru thick and thin and they chose to do the same.

And this morning, as I watch the results of that dedication and fortitude and a love that grows old and deep over time…. I think it’s one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen.

Hard. But beautiful. As most things worth fighting for are.

xox.eb

I was pulling into the Marshall’s parking lot when I got a text from my mama:

I just sat there.

You don’t get news about a national treasure like Dolly Parton and then carry on about your day. You sit in it. You remember. You grab the memories in your mind.

And then, last night, we had a friend over for dinner. Of COURSE we talked about Dolly. Her music…some. Her movies…maybe. I mean…who could ever forget her role in Steel Magnolias?!? “Just paint my door red and call me Elizabeth Arden!”

But the main thing we talked about was how Dolly lived her life and was as a person. I’ve never heard anyone say a single unkind word about Dolly Parton. Quite the opposite. Everyone adores her. Praises her. Quotes her. Cries about her. Everyone says how kind she is. How generous. How funny. How smart. How genuine.

My thoughts then went to how she handled her faith. No one questioned whether or not Dolly Parton loved Jesus. They didn’t wonder if she was a woman who believed. They KNEW. And yet…she didn’t act religious. Ever. She was never judgmental. She never condemned.

I love this quote from her:

Never use religion to judge others, because if you love God, you must know that He loves all of us without exception. - Dolly Parton

And how about this one:

I don’t have to march in the streets. I just try to live it and be it. - Dolly Parton

I think that’s my favorite thing about her. And, I’d be willing to bet that’s what she will be remembered for…her love and her kindness. Her ability to be in the world and make it a better place without judging it and those in it.

Oh, those songs we will be a playin’ … you can count on that. But that LOVE…that’s the stuff we’re going to be thinking about for years to come.

Just goes to show that at the end of the day…it’s not about your talents (they’re great) or what you can DO (I mean…do good things:) but about your character, who you truly are and how you make others feel. That’s what remains.

Be like Dolly.

xox.eb

Lots of life has been happening for us lately. LOTS. Mostly all great things…but also some hard things. I was thinking last night about how, when I find myself PREOCCUPIED…and I allow those things to OCCUPY my thoughts instead of taking them captive and getting in the word…I have NOTHING to write to you…nothing much to say that feels of value, anyway.

PREOCCUPIED: previously occupied. Taken. Filled.

Previously occupied. Yikes. Can anyone else relate to that?

I know life can hit hard. I also know that when I’m consistent with my morning routine, my day goes better.

I don’t want to be found preoccupied with the things of this world. I want to be occupied with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness. And we know that doesn’t happen by chance or by hoping, but by abiding.

Preoccupied or occupied. We get to choose.

xox.eb

We went chasing sunsets last night.

Now y’all know I LOVE my mountain sunsets. I mean…LOVE them. Last night, however, I realized that while the season is changing for us…and there are so many things we will miss…the new season ahead holds equal amounts of beauty…just different.

Instead of mountains and hardwoods and hills…our new view will have pine trees and fields and sight lines that go further.

I looked at Keith and said “I think we’re going to be okay here.” :)

And guess what. You will be, too.

If your scenery is shifting and your current season is ending…be grateful for what was while simultaneously expectant for what lies ahead.

It’s going to look different, but it’s supposed to.

xox.eb

Happy Monday! Hope you all had a great weekend! We had the fam home … which is my fave…and celebrated Johnie’s birthday. Keith and I talked about how wonderful it is when you LOVE being with your adult children.

It’s such a fun stage when you go from having to “parent” to simply being with them and being their friend. I’m sure it just gets better and better as the years go on as well.

Anyway. That wasn’t my thought. Although, my thought does go to generational stuff.

In Judges 2, it talks about the generation “who had seen all of the great things the Lord had done” and how “after that generation had died, another generation grew up who did not acknowledge the Lord or remember the mighty things he had done.”

They abandoned God and “went after other gods, worshipping the gods of the people around them.”

Hmmm.

Ya know…we were the generation without social media, without cell phones, without so much that’s swirling around that this generation has to deal with. It would be easy for them to not know God and to worship other gods like others around them (idolatry of people, the god of self, self promotion, selfish ambition, self, self, self…).

That is why sharing stories (testimonies) is so important. Writing it down is so important. Remembering what God has done in our lives and talking about it is so important. You don’t have to preach at them or force something on them…simply WALK with the Lord in YOUR life. They will see it. They will notice.

Also…if you have loved ones in the older generation around you…talk to them about all the things the Lord has done in THEIR lives. Ask them to share stories. Listen intently. I love having my grandmother’s old books with squiggly underlines in them and notes written in margins. That’s one reason I write in and mark up my Bibles like crazy….with hopes that one day, after I’m long gone, my children will pick them up and read some of what I wrote in the margins.

Anyway. Keep telling the stories. Keep remembering.

xox.eb

Mornin’ sunshine’s! Happy Friday!

Well, I’ve exited Joshua and am entering Judges in my “Bible read through in a year.”

I’m clearly not going to get through in one year.

Hey…I’m a slow reader. A studier. A word looker upper kind of girl…I like to hang out in one place for a while. I guess I guess I’ll get through when I get through:).

Anyway. The heading that jumped out at me this morning is from Judges 2:16-23:

“The Lord RESCUED His People”

It goes on to say that He rescued the people who were “burdened by oppression and suffering.”

Some of you who’ve followed my journey may remember this, but in 2008, after being dramatically snatched out of my world as I knew it…I began to complain a bit to the Lord. I’d say things like “Lord! What in the world!?! I was one way a few weeks ago…doing life and work and all the things…and now, everything’s changed. I feel like I’ve been kidnapped!”

Over and over again I’d cry out…trying to understand how it all happened.

One day, as I sat in the backyard of our tiny rental apartment (we’d been snatched out of our dream home as well) with airplane traffic overhead, cars going by and trains off in the distance (we’d left a quiet farm) I began again.

But this time, He answered me.

“You have it all wrong. You’ve not been kidnapped, you’ve been RESCUED.”

He showed me the image of a burning building…each floor collapsing on top of the next one, and us being pulled out just in time.

That building, I believe, represented “our world” and allll that we were building in our own strength and by our own hands. Our own kingdom, if you will. Oh…all while loving God and going to church and teaching Bible studies and doing all the things.

But there was a divide somewhere.

At least, for me.

I was IN the world and OF the world.

Love God. Perform. Perform. Perform. Bust a move. Bust a move. Bust a move. Build. Build. Build. Be the best. Be the best. Be the best. Teach a Bible study. Bust a move again.:) Rinse. Repeat.

Shew…it exhausts me now even writing that sentence.

Talk about oppression and suffering.

When we somehow believe that our whole world is dependent on US keeping it all going…that is high level oppression.

Oppression: the feeling of being heavily burdened, mentally, physically, by troubles, adverse conditions, or anxiety.

The whole “doing it all in my own strength” had actually begun to take a toll on my physical health as well.

It took quite a while..heck, I still have to battle it sometimes all these years later…that beast of burden of performance and making stuff happen and being in control of it all and thinking it’s up to me and taking things into my own hands.

But then…I remember.

He rescued me.

He never wants me to go back.

He never intended for us to take on the oppression of this world and all of its demands and expectations and requirements.

He never wanted us to carry the burdens on our shoulders.

He never wanted us to be OF this world.

He rescues us into a different reality. But, just like with kidnapping victims, it can take time to acclimate back. Our true identity has to be held up to us over and over again. We have to RE-member who we were and who he made us to be before the world creeped in and tried to steal it all away.

If you’re still on the hamster wheel of performance and over achieving and over doing and over stressing and over thinking and believing that it all falls on your shoulders…my prayer for you today is that you, too, get RESCUED out of that burning building and brought back into the reality that you’re a daughter, a son, a watched over, cared for, VERY loved and cherished person.

We were never made to do it on our own.

xox.eb

John the Baptist wore clothing made from camel’s hair...ate dried locusts and wild honey for his staple food...and hung out in the desert yelling stuff.

In every sense of the word, we’d call him a fruit loop today. We might even say he was “demonized” or coo coo.

And yet.

What he was yelling in the desert was TRUTH.

“A thunderous voice crying out in the wilderness to prepare yourself and to level a straight path inside your HEART for Him.” (TPT)

Maybe we shouldn’t discount a voice just because it doesn’t come from mainstream. Actually, that’s probably the main reason we should listen to it.

Just a thought.

xox.eb

Saturday night, Keith and I stumbled upon a country road near our land that was just acres and acres and acres (for miles) of undisturbed pine trees. It was GORGEOUS. I felt like I was in a fairy land. No people. No houses. No other cars…just us and millions of pine trees.

It WILL become a new fave Sunday drive:)

I said to Keith… “it feels soooo spiritual in here. I know that sounds crazy. But it does.”

Then, I opened up the book of Joshua and read this.

As a reminder of their agreement, he took a huge stone and rolled it beneath the terebinth tree. He said to the people, “This stone has heard everything the Lord said to us. It will be a witness to testify against you if you go back on your word to God.” -Joshua 24:27

Amazing. I mean…we know even the rocks cry out… but it just underscored what I was sensing in those woods.

God made nature. God loves nature. Nature holds more than we can think or imagine.

Let’s get off our phones and get into the woods. Let’s listen to the trees and the stones and the dirt whisper to us what they’ve heard. It might just heal us.

xox.eb

Happy Monday! We’re back home from a very productive weekend on the land. Our little RV SPOT is taking shape!

I was reading in Joshua 22 how one of the tribes…after being rescued out of slavery and then allotted and given land…decided to “stop and build a large and imposing altar.” The people around them asked…”how could you turn away from the Lord and build an altar for yourself in rebellion against him!?”

When I read that…my first thought is how easy it can be to do. You know…trust and follow the Lord up to a certain point but then…take matters into your own hands and build something in “the new” out of your own strength.

I’ve had to watch out for this myself.

God’s clearly doing a NEW THING in our lives…requiring a new level of trust and reliance on Him…and there are moments where I can start to “take things into my own hands” and build something I’ve thought up or that I think might be a good idea during this season.

Yeah. I’m not at the stage of life where I want to build anything in my own strength or because it’s a “good idea.” I want to walk forward daily, with the Lord, and see what HE has for us in this next season…not what we can drum up or add to or build with our own hands.

I have such a sense that we will DISCOVER what’s next..not CONJURE UP what’s next. You know…build an altar in our own strength kind of thing.

If you’re walking into the new…be careful and resist building from the old. Let the Lord reveal it all in His time. Let the new story unfold. Don’t grab things with your own two hands and make things happen just to give yourself a false sense of security.

Fully trusting means FULLY trusting.

xox.eb

“So fear the Lord and serve Him WHOLE-HEARTEDLY.” - Joshua 24:14

Yearssss ago, the Lord whispered to me:

“I want you whole-hearted.”

It was probably in the middle of me asking Him what He wanted me to DO.

Doing is much easier than being.

Oh…give me a task and I’ll do it and do it well and check it off the list. But just sit and be and heal and receive?! A little more difficult.

WHOLE: containing ALL the elements properly belonging; complete.

Shew. That’s a doozie.

ALL means all.

That means, in order to be whole-hearted, we have to discover AND recover pieces and parts we have given away, parts that were wounded and hurt, parts that have anger or bitterness in them, parts that are simply lost.

But guess what!?! He would not tell us to be whole-hearted…knowing all the things that have taken place in our lives to try and keep us from just that…unless 100% recovery was FULLY possible.

Just start with what he shows you and trust HIS process.

He is the way. Whole is possible.

xox.eb