Hey sweet friends!! Gosh. It’s been a minute. I realized I’ve been posting some updates on Facebook through this trial…but somehow, writing HERE and to YOU about the little blips I was going through, seemed dumb:).

Shew. The last two weeks have kicked my butt…not gonna lie. I went into this surgery soooo brazen….I mean, I’d just gotten through kidney cancer surgery, and I’d had way worse with colon surgery….so surely, SURELY, this hip replacement would be a “walk in the park” (I’m seeing that humor, thank you).

It. Has. Not. Been.

From fever spiking to 104 the night of surgery to finding out it was Covid, to a horrific last 24 hour hospital stay (yes, I will be writing letters), to CRASHING from stopping the opioids cold turkey and taking a week to start back and ween off correctly…you name it, this one’s been a doozie.

BUT GOD.

You can hear those two words and not fully get them UNTIL you’re in a place where legitimately you must have GOD be the One to come through and sustain you. And guess what? He always does. Always.

So far, the beautiful GAINS of this trial are:

1. an ever increasing softness in my heart and more appreciation for those and everything around me.

2. an awareness that my “natural walk” will now be a bit leaning + limping as a reflection of my “spiritual walk”. Years ago, a man came up to me and said…”you’re in a BATTLE, but it’s ok, you WILL come out leaning on your beloved.” Ya’ll, I’M LEANING.

3. a more real life, real time, vivid understanding and empathy for those who have been caught in the ugly web of addiction. Specifically the opioid issue in our nation. It’s no joke. I’ll be writing more.

4. I’m crying a lot more and a lot easier. Maybe it’s the meds, the anesthesia, Jesus…probably a combo of all three…but it’s okay. I’m learning to let them FLOW and not stop them trying to be so strong or have it together … pfhhh…what a dumb facade that one is for ANY of us to try and keep up.

5. I am keenly aware of how much we need each other. Period. End of story. Andddd…how when I am weak…HE IS strong. It’s real…not just cute words.

6. Lastly, I’m going to spend a lot of time reflecting on events/physicalities/things that led up to this and transpired during this. The natural reflects the spiritual and I KNOW that there are hidden keys in this picture and I intend to find them.

Well. That’s all for now. I imagine by next Monday I’ll be ready and back on track writing to you. I’ve been praying about some things and waiting on clarity…many of you are asking for MORE than Morning Thoughts ☕️…and I have oh, so much MORE to share and to say…I honestly scratch the surface with our morning chats and I’ve noticed they are getting longer lately…I just need to know how and what MORE looks like.

I TREASURE YOU. Truly. Not enough words for the gratitude I feel for you in my heart!!

Talk soon.

eb